When is the best time to write? Pretty much anytime you want to procrastinate from the "real work".
How about those Indians?
Growing up in Parma, I've got no expectation of a Cleveland World Championship in anything other than economic contraction or population flight. One thing I've learned in my 42 years is "Cleveland sports teams will always break my heart".
But this season for the Tribe is just pure torture. Obviously at some point I stopped watching as they continue to play out the string. But now I'm having trouble even getting through the box scores. The games are boring and the quality of the baseball being played is terrible. Bad pitching, average defense and a lineup that is about three players deep. How did the wheels fall off so quickly? And how do I generate any hope for next year? They need (at a minimum) two starting pitchers and three position players to be five-hundred. Even Mike Ilitch doesn't have pockets that deep. And that's assuming Masterson, McAllister and Kluber are viable Major League starting pitchers, which may be a stretch. Maybe they get Carrasco back from Tommy John, but then what? Sign Greinke?
As for the position players, at a minimum they need a left fielder, first baseman and a designated hitter. If I'm the GM for the Tribe, I trade Asdrubal Cabrera this off season. His value will never be higher and they have ample shortstop prospects behind him in the minors. Customers are paying full price for their tickets. Why shouldn't they get to see Francisco Lindor right now? Or Ronnie Rodriguez?
At least I've got the Browns.
Time to change the subject.
...
I'm in the middle of painting the trim on the house.
And putting it off while I write this.
My home is mostly brick and vinyl, but as is the custom this decade, the trim and soffits are wood. And that wood needs to be painted every eight to ten years. Or it rots.
I've lived here eight years (hard to believe) and it's overdue. The existing builder grade paint was probably shot two years ago, but with the divorce and associated personal and financial upheaval I put it off. This summer I couldn't put it off any more. One small section on the front porch rotted and I knew if I didn't do it now, I'd be replacing a lot more of it next year.
So I called by good friend BLT (who owes me a few favors) and we got to work Labor Day weekend. What I didn't realize until after that fact was BLT was afraid of heights. From his Facebook page:
"I started on the low part of the garage 2/3 up a 6ft (?) Ladder, working over my head. A little scary, but ok. Took a little break while Bob set up the big one to get the first 3rd done. Paint in one hand, kung-fu grip with the other I made it to the top and concentrated on the work, took my mind off the rest for a bit. Once down, I helped Bob extend the ladder all the way. I did my best to casually ask if everything was safe, he said yes, I know he would never put me at risk, so I believed him. I felt myself, and the ladder shaking as I went up, but focused on the roof as I went. By the time I got there I was genuinely scared, but decided to keep my mouth shut and do the job I came to do and not focus on what was flashing through my mind every step of the way, though I did jokingly say my insurance card was in my wallet. By this point Bob had walked away to get back to work and I was perched maybe 25ft (Bob?) up in the air working over my head. I made sure to get every last spot done perfectly, I was not getting back up there to fix anything. Getting down is the worst part, since I have to look down, I was in full panic, but just went one step at a time. Once down, I took a break, and tried to cover my tracks by fiddling with my phone, some sun screen, took some pics. When Bob helped me move the ladder back down he told me what a great job I was doing, which gave me the strength to brave the last few trips up and down. He said thanks, everything looked good, I kept my mouth shut and everybody moved on. I was proud of both the work I did, and dealing with my bullshit, but the unknowing support and confidence of my best friend made it all possible."
I didn't realize it at the time, but that's some impressive shit. He was about 25 feet up and finished the entire front of the garage. And it looks great. Thank you.
And now I feel really guilty for procrastinating.
...
I've been working on a list of my ten favorite breakup songs for the better part of the last two years. Not because I'm indecisive or that the task is particularly hard.
Pretty much all I have to do is organize my iTunes account by "Plays" and exclude the kid's songs.
But mostly because I'm easily distracted.
I wanted to call this these the "Ten Greatest Breakup Songs" but I'm not much of a critic, it's not like I've listened to every song ever recorded and a lot of these songs objectively aren't really all that good. This list is almost guaranteed to change in six months when the next great breakup song hits my iPhone. I will say that these ten songs all mean something to me. They all have a personal connection to something in my life either through the lyrics or a time in my life I (for some reason) associate with the song. I listen to them to remind me of better times, to pick the scabs of my failures, to find perspective or to remind me that there is always hope.
But the Johnny Cash version is even better. It's an incredibly depressing song to open a playlist. The message is that everything in life ends. It's from the point of view of a junkie, but is really about mortality. Every birth is a future death. Every marriage ends in sadness - divorce or death - pick one.
This one is just for fun. My favorite band singing about a cheating spouse. "She used to be pretty, but now she's just pretty fucked up". So true. After any breakup it should be required listening.
I'm not sure that this is even a breakup song, except for the lyric "of the things I miss". But it reminds me of days spent in college on the world's ugliest couch with the Princess of Darkness. So I guess for me personally it's a little bit about loss.
Is there any better song about a cheating spouse? It's about as deep as Kim Kardashian, but infectiously fun. I suppose it's been a little overplayed since last summer, but I still like it.
This is the most personal song on the list. "If someone said three years from now you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them in the mouth." That's pretty much exactly how I felt when I got my divorce papers. Shock, surprise and disappointment. I still can't listen to this song without tearing up. It takes me right back to that day.
This song rocks, but I'm not sure even Bob Mould is 100% sure about the lyrics. To me, it's about the anger and resentment associated with a breakup. "How could you do this to me?" It's cathartic for me to listen to this song.
Cheesiest song on the list, but I like it for the message of empowerment. Just because someone else doesn't want what you're selling doesn't make it worthless.
I don't think anybody does "breakup" better than Alanis Morissette. If you're a single guy and a friend tries to set you up with Ms. Morissette, run away. You don't want your breakup to be immortalized in coffee shops across the world. This particular song is about the regret associated with a breakup. It reminds me that not only did I lose my money and my stuff in my divorce, I also lost my best friend.
This is my current favorite breakup song. "All of our bridges burned down." True. "All those fairy tales are full of shit." Check. "You turned your back on tomorrow because you forgot yesterday." Oh yeah. "It's hard to remember the people we used to be." The funny thing is that my kids love this song and it tears my guts out every time I hear it. Sometimes I wonder if they even understand the lyrics. I'm pretty sure they only like it for the melody, but I could be wrong.
Another favorite song of my kids. The lyrics are extremely obtuse, but to me this song is about mortality. The allusion to a king being deposed and the loss of authority or power. Castles built on sand. Numerous Christian references. And that beautiful string section.
That's ten. Subject to change of course.
Special bonus song:
Best revenge song ever!
